Polonius
       What do you read, my lord?
Hamlet
      Words, words, words.

~ Hamlet

You are smart, educated, experienced — and you want to write your own copy . . .

No, no, nooooo! Don’t do it! While you’re highly knowledgeable and you know your area of expertise inside, outside, and upside down, without knowing the principles for writing good copy, your efforts can produce laden, dense, and even impenetrable writing.

Nevertheless, YOU writing out what YOU want to say is a great first step. This is because it gives the professional copywriter something to work with — and you’re ahead of the game when it comes to getting great copy within a tight time frame.

A while ago, a highly knowledgeable hedge fund manager send me some “About Us” online copy he had written to promote his new business. He makes a terrific start because he “got it” that problem solving is 99% of what all business products and services are about. Your visitors want to know if you can solve their problems, and they want to find this out as quickly as possible. Biographical information, no matter how impressive, is secondary. Below are 3 of his original paragraphs (the company name has been changed):

“XYZ is unique from all other hedge fund resources because it is completely unbiased. Unlike other hedge fund web sites, XYZ is not aligned or associated with any investment manager or consulting firm. As such, it can rigorously pursue its goal of providing objective, professional information and evaluation of relevant issues unfettered by commercial or political issues. Such a posture allows it to publish the highest quality content with one goal in mind: transparency.”

“Transparency is not easily attained in the world of hedge fund investing. Traditionally, the hedge fund industry has been a closed one. Information on hedge funds is not easy to come by. Managers have been slow to provide investors with pertinent information. What is made available is often put forth in obscure, technical language, making interpretation and evaluation problematic. Consulting firms that have collected data on hedge funds levy a heavy access toll. XYZ was initiated as a remedy to these conditions.”

“XYZ will provide interested parties with direct access to relevant information. It will explain the theoretical, operational, and commercial issues related to hedge funds and hedge fund investing in coherent terms so members can develop an understanding of the intricacies of this industry. It will provide members with the tools necessary to make meaningful evaluations and well informed decisions about hedge funds. These tools will allow members to become educated and prudent investors–ones who will demand to be treated as true partners with money managers with whom they choose to invest.”

This was great first attempt because while my knowledge of hedge fund management is vanishingly close to zero, his original copy gave me more than enough to work with. Below is my literal 20 minute re-working of his three paragraphs:

Unbiased, independent, and transparent — XYZ is unique from all other hedge funds. Because XYZ is not partnered with any investment manager or consulting firm, it rigorously pursues its goal of providing objective, professional information, analysis, and evaluation unfettered by commercial or political issues.

Open doors, big windows, lots of light — XYZ’s managers put transparency and open access first by providing quick and easy access to investors questions. We talk to YOU, as an investor, simply, clearly, directly without the usual obscure, technical gobblygook that makes interpretation and evaluation problematic, if not impossible.

Confused? Need to develop an understanding of the intricacies of this industry? XYZ will explain the theoretical, operational, and commercial issues related to hedge funds and hedge fund investing in a way that’s easily understandable. XYZ will provide members with the tools necessary to make meaningful evaluations and well informed decisions about hedge funds.

Become an educated and prudent investor. Become a partner with XYZ’s expert, knowledgeable, reliable, friendly money managers today!

Writing great copy is Art & Science, but in 20 minutes, I managed to craft modifications that contained the top four critical features of any persuasive online copy: it gains attention, it focus on the customer, it stresses benefits, and it differentiate XYZ from it’s competition . . . and I didn’t need to know a damn thing about hedge fund management. His starting copy was a great first step, and it give me all I needed to know.

When you work with clients in a highly technical field, try guiding them in writing their own first draft: tell them what the copy should contain (e.g., tell them ‘tell your customers how you can solve their problems,’) and then take it from there.

Want to Raise your Web I.Q. Through the Roof?